When we listen to everything at once—when we refuse to let any single wounded part dominate—we begin to hear something uncomfortable: the ways we've been calling our resistance "love."

As I reflect retrospectively, I wasn’t really sure how to respond. So, I just opened my mouth as I generally do, and responded with the first thing that came out, “I thought everything was made from God. The statue, the store, the people, the streets, the air we breathe. We are all aspects of God. Don’t you think so?” I watched him as I was speaking. His anxiety went from a 4 to an eleven. But I couldn’t stop. His whole body began to move in quick jerky steps. I simply watched in a bit of awe.

When the leader heals the loop and when tension no longer stifles transparent communication, something remarkable happens. The team begins to trust because they feel emotionally safe. Because of this shift, they...